perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Every concussion has its silver lining
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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