i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The adults are the big ones right?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
