your parents love me but you hate me
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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