Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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