i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
