I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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