i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
