Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
