i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
