What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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