He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
