i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
