Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
