Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize