Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
