idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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