Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
