operation have a gay friend backfired
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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