Your tits are I can't wait for
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
