Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
