He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
sick fucks of a feather flock together
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
