I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize