I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
