We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Randomize
