Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
