R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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