My hair reeks of homosexuality.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
