I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
