There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
farters have to be the big spoon...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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