Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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