whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
