Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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