why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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