that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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