Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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