We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
