I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Let's paint friendship bongs
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
