So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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