I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
