she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
