I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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