dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize