a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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