this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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