the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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