bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
