Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
