How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
