Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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