How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
