I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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