whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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