I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize