1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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