Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
