I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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