There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
